Do they know? Do they really know?.........is what I wonder alot of days. Do these kids really know how much I love them and care for them and want what's best for them? I know I don't tell them like I should. But there isn't a child in that classroom that I wouldn't fight for.
Sometimes I think, "Do THEY really LOVE ME as their TEACHER? OR do they wish they had another teacher or their first grade teacher back? Do they think I'm a good teacher. Yes, I get the notes all the time that say they love me and I'm the best teacher. But sometimes, I just wonder about the genuiness of it...are they just doing it simply bc I'm there teacher and that is what children love to do for the teacher? Sometimes I look on their faces and I feel as though they are looking back and I see in their eyes and face that I'm not their favorite...I'm not the one their heart is loyal to.
The last day before Thanksgiving break I gave each child a note from me that said what I was thankful for about them. Now, I believe that if my teacher gave me that that I would hold onto it...atleast through the weekend. A few of them left them on the floor!! Oh, well.
But, I LOVE THOSE KIDS WITH ALL MY HEART - They've stolen it. Even though most days I'm sure they can't tell.
Because of them - I have 20 more reasons to be thankful this Thanksgiving!
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
P.S. I've got to get another pencil sharpener over Thanksgiving---we're up to number 4!! But, I'm thankful that we have pencils to sharpen and I have money to buy the sharpener. :)
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
What?
Tuesday (before Thanksgiving) I experienced my first official hearing. Bet you can't guess which student it was for? That's right - 19. For right now, he gets to stay. He returns the Monday after Thanksgiving. My energy level drains just thinking about it.
Oh, the Monday after Thanksgiving...that day starts about 3 long weeks of school until Christmas Break!! ALAS - FREEDOM! Needless to say I am not looking forward to those three weeks - I know we all will be going insane.
But, the year is almost half way through. I am almost half way through with MY FIRST YEAR OF TEACHING - WOW! It has flown by so fast I haven't been able to breath or take it in most days. As I think about the fact that it is almost half way over...I seriously wonder...WHAT?...have these kids learned anything? Am I making any progress with them? Have I done things right? Will they be better off having me as a teacher this year or would they have done better being in someone else's class? I look at student's like 19 and think - he should have been in someone else's class...not because I don't want him in mine, but because if he had been in a more experienced teacher's class then maybe he would have made more progress by now because that teacher would know what she was doing. Rather than I, who ran around like a chicken with her head cut off hoping for each day to pass quickly - it has surely been exhausting...I thought I knew what it was like to be tired - but I quickly found out that I didn't know what it meant to be tired until I had this job. Then I look at my kids who are high and I see what they are doing and that they are getting things and taking what we learn and they are applying it. That makes me feel good and like we're getting somewhere. But, at the same time, my heart hurts for the child that just doesn't get it. No matter how many times I say it or how many various ways I explain it, he just doesn't get it. And what do I do? There are so many. My heart simply breaks for them.
This definitely wasn't the first year I had pictured, but it has been a first year (at least half of it) that I can say I'm truly grateful for. And I LOVE those children in MY classroom with all my heart.
Oh, the Monday after Thanksgiving...that day starts about 3 long weeks of school until Christmas Break!! ALAS - FREEDOM! Needless to say I am not looking forward to those three weeks - I know we all will be going insane.
But, the year is almost half way through. I am almost half way through with MY FIRST YEAR OF TEACHING - WOW! It has flown by so fast I haven't been able to breath or take it in most days. As I think about the fact that it is almost half way over...I seriously wonder...WHAT?...have these kids learned anything? Am I making any progress with them? Have I done things right? Will they be better off having me as a teacher this year or would they have done better being in someone else's class? I look at student's like 19 and think - he should have been in someone else's class...not because I don't want him in mine, but because if he had been in a more experienced teacher's class then maybe he would have made more progress by now because that teacher would know what she was doing. Rather than I, who ran around like a chicken with her head cut off hoping for each day to pass quickly - it has surely been exhausting...I thought I knew what it was like to be tired - but I quickly found out that I didn't know what it meant to be tired until I had this job. Then I look at my kids who are high and I see what they are doing and that they are getting things and taking what we learn and they are applying it. That makes me feel good and like we're getting somewhere. But, at the same time, my heart hurts for the child that just doesn't get it. No matter how many times I say it or how many various ways I explain it, he just doesn't get it. And what do I do? There are so many. My heart simply breaks for them.
This definitely wasn't the first year I had pictured, but it has been a first year (at least half of it) that I can say I'm truly grateful for. And I LOVE those children in MY classroom with all my heart.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Coveting her Pencil Sharpener
When you think about a classroom and all that it entails, one of the last things that one would think would cause such a problem is the pencil sharpener. But OH, what a nightmare that little noisy, electronic contraption can cause. For the past few weeks I have been SO close to pulling my hair out and screaming over broken tips of pencils and the need to sharpen those pesky things in the middle of class. Now mind you we are on our SECOND sharpener of the year (and I told myself I would not be one of those teachers who purchased 10 sharpeners during the course of a year) and it is slowly dying I can tell as each day it takes longer and LONGER to sharpen enough pencils for the class. At times, sharpening is being done in the afternoon and morning by my best pencil sharpening students, yet when students enter the classroom I am still having to sharpen pencils!!! AHH!! Unless you've been through it yourself you would now understand how FRUSTRATING this is. And when that little hand raises in the air signaling to me that that pencil has broken and needs to sharpened, all that is in me cringes and fights and wants to scream: "YOUR PENCIL WILL NOT SHARPEN - FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO WRITE WITH AND LEARN HOW TO WRITE GENTLY WITH YOUR PENCIL!!!!! But of course I cannot say this, so relunctantly, I stop what I am doing and take the pencil and put it in the sharpener as it makes it loud noise to let it be known to the entire room what is going on (except for on the occasion that I let them sharpen the pencil theirself)---"Can't you just sharpen quietly?" I think to myself about that annoying sharpener.
Now the Art teacher has the HUGE heavy duty sharpener, actually she has two of them, that I have admired from afar and thought "Oh, if I could have a sharpener like that!" So the other day I ask her where she got hers (knowing that this would most likely cost a pretty penny) and she of course says prob some art magazine - she doesn't remember but if she could find it she would let me know. So a little dissappointed I say "ok" and mosey on back to my room. Well, I could tell sharpener # 2 would go at any moment cause I could hear it slowly fading away. My kids tell me that their first grade teacher had a sharpener like the art teacher so out of desperation I email her, asking her if this was true and if so where did she get it. She replies that another teacher got them for her from an APT grant the last year...so another dead end road. I started researching these pencil sharpeners on the internet and have found them ranging in prices from 35 to 55 dollars - pre-tax. So, maybe Santa Claus will hear my cry?! Idk, but something must be done cause I'm going crazy with these pencils and pencil sharpeners...."Write with your finger" I want to shout sometimes.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE THESE KIDS WITH ALL MY HEART! But some days I just want to SCREAM stupid pencil sharpener!! and another thing, I have reached the conclusion that pencils should come pre-sharpened, don't you agree!!! You should! :)
Oh, WAIT, I alwmost forgot, the 2nd sharpener DID die on Monday and so long story short....I took it to walmart and exchanged it for a new one (thank you Lord that I didn't have to fork over more money).
Meanwhile - I had 2 kids steal things on monday...one tried to steal 2 brand new pencils from the classroom and the other stole 3 pieces of candy from the speech teacher....really, do you learn that in my classroom????
Lost in pencil shavings,
four days til Thanksgiving break!
Now the Art teacher has the HUGE heavy duty sharpener, actually she has two of them, that I have admired from afar and thought "Oh, if I could have a sharpener like that!" So the other day I ask her where she got hers (knowing that this would most likely cost a pretty penny) and she of course says prob some art magazine - she doesn't remember but if she could find it she would let me know. So a little dissappointed I say "ok" and mosey on back to my room. Well, I could tell sharpener # 2 would go at any moment cause I could hear it slowly fading away. My kids tell me that their first grade teacher had a sharpener like the art teacher so out of desperation I email her, asking her if this was true and if so where did she get it. She replies that another teacher got them for her from an APT grant the last year...so another dead end road. I started researching these pencil sharpeners on the internet and have found them ranging in prices from 35 to 55 dollars - pre-tax. So, maybe Santa Claus will hear my cry?! Idk, but something must be done cause I'm going crazy with these pencils and pencil sharpeners...."Write with your finger" I want to shout sometimes.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE THESE KIDS WITH ALL MY HEART! But some days I just want to SCREAM stupid pencil sharpener!! and another thing, I have reached the conclusion that pencils should come pre-sharpened, don't you agree!!! You should! :)
Oh, WAIT, I alwmost forgot, the 2nd sharpener DID die on Monday and so long story short....I took it to walmart and exchanged it for a new one (thank you Lord that I didn't have to fork over more money).
Meanwhile - I had 2 kids steal things on monday...one tried to steal 2 brand new pencils from the classroom and the other stole 3 pieces of candy from the speech teacher....really, do you learn that in my classroom????
Lost in pencil shavings,
four days til Thanksgiving break!
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