Love

Well, here it is, March - half way through March might I add.
I have to admit, things have gotten better. THANK THE LORD. There are still days that it feels like the weight of the world rests on my shoulders but thankfully, its not everyday. And somehow, I think that now matter how long I teach there will always be days like that. I can't believe it's March though, and now we have 2 and a half months left of the school year and then it's all over.

I love my kids - to death! Really, they have now idea how much I love them. And they love me (and I know you shouldn't start a sentence with "and" but it fits here so I'm doing it - just don't tell the kids). About 2 days before Valentine's Day, one of my little girl (#20) says to me, "I love you so much. It's like I love you more that my family. It's like YOU ARE my family!" She says it like she just had this huge revelation or something. It was hilarious and precious.
Really, I know those kids depend on me for so much. BUT they have no idea how much I DEPEND ON THEM. To do what I say, to participate when they are suppose to, to "get it" when "it" doesn't make much sense, to keep up with me, and to be quiet when their suppose to. But most importantly, they have no idea how much I depend on them to let me know I'm not a horrible teacher and that sometimes they really do enjoy our class and that they know I LOVE them. I look so often for that smile that stretches and lights up their face when they are "in" to some lesson that we are doing, when they are excited about learning, or when they are thrilled about what we are fixing to do. I really depend on the excited face of #6 cause sometimes when this student sits their so bored I feel horrible. I wonder what they go home and tell their parents. I wonder what thier parents think.
But all in all, I love these kids to death. I have absolutely NO idea what I will do when they walk out of my room that last day of school in May. They will leave behind a heartbroken teacher.
I hope somewhere between all the mini-lessons, everyday math, and endless non-sense, that I made a difference, that I inspired something in someone. Most importantly, I hope that I conveyed to them that I love them.
Even to #19 who is currently on homebound til the end of April.