All the time people ask me this question. "Is is getting any better?" Each time I'm stumped as to how to answer them. Let's face it: it's NOT getting better. In fact, just when I think I might be able to catch my breath (notice I didn't mention actually getting to breath) something else happens and I might as well forget it. But what do I tell people? I can't tell them "No"; they would just think I'm being negative all the time. So, do I lie instead and put on the smile and tell them its going good? HA, no. It's just an endless cycle. I'm seriously contemplating giving up all hope until summer (which isn't too far away).
Stories: So, today my kid that comes in all the time with bandages and whatnot on him (called 18) comes to class with a bandage wrapped around his hand. Now two times throughout the day today, he asks me if he can take it off in order to do various tasks. Of course I say yes, all the while thinking "OF COURSE YOU CAN TAKE IT OFF! WHY ARE YOU EVEN ASKING ME?! THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!!!" LOL bless him. Later in the day I notice that he has a band-aid in the middle of his forhead...I'm pretty sure that band-aid wasn't there when he got to school this morning...and if I'm correct, then how in the world it ended up there I have NO idea. But I can guarantee you that if you were to take it off his head that there would be nothing wrong with him (which I was tempted to do quite a few times today!). oh, dear.
I have one of those hand pointer thingies (its a stick with a white gloved hand on the end with the pointer finger pointing out) and I have been meaning to use it all year long but keep forgetting. Well I finally remember to pick it up today while I'm teaching and I don't know if I'm going to be able to use it much. I started to laugh while I was using it bc I just kept thinking...this has to look hilarious. At one point I had my cheek resting on the hand as if I had a third hand. IDK it might only be funny to me. Like, I said in an earlier post...you got to find something to laugh at during the day. :) (Of course, 19 wants to talk to the hand when I use it!)
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Report Cards - Hope their not "The Death of Me" Cards
To give a brief update: There is not too much to tell. My unruly child (who we will refer to as 19 from here on out) returned Tuesday after 2 days of OSS. I was not happy about it but you know...it happens. He has been holding his own since then. We take it moment by moment, day by day, week by week (or atleast I do!). He's doing ok (now when I say ok that means he still has ALOT of work to do but I'm being as patient as possible and he hasn't been as disrespectful as he has been in the past to get himself is OSS)
Tomorrow Report Cards for the first nine weeks go out. AAAHHHHH!!! Let's be honest, I'm scared to death - what if I have a million parents knocking downn my door or asking to have a conference on Nov. 2 - which is the first parent teacher conference day (honestly, I'd rather deal with the children)? We'll see how things go.
Its so hard to believe that I'm one fourth of the way through my first year of teaching...its gone by too incredibly fast. Somedays I wonder if I'm doing any good...only time will tell. I hope more than anything that I am being an effective teacher and that somewhere I make a difference in those little lives...that a worthwhile investment has been made in them, in who they are, not only academically but spiritually. I love those kids with all my heart and want only the best for them. But I know that most days, they sadly, don't get the best of me. But that is going to change, it will be a slow process, but I'm praying for God to help me give the strength to give more to them (though I feel like I've already given all I have).
Thank you to the many, many people who constantly are praying for me. I am so very blessed. Thank you Lord for how you guide me EVER step of the way!
Tomorrow Report Cards for the first nine weeks go out. AAAHHHHH!!! Let's be honest, I'm scared to death - what if I have a million parents knocking downn my door or asking to have a conference on Nov. 2 - which is the first parent teacher conference day (honestly, I'd rather deal with the children)? We'll see how things go.
Its so hard to believe that I'm one fourth of the way through my first year of teaching...its gone by too incredibly fast. Somedays I wonder if I'm doing any good...only time will tell. I hope more than anything that I am being an effective teacher and that somewhere I make a difference in those little lives...that a worthwhile investment has been made in them, in who they are, not only academically but spiritually. I love those kids with all my heart and want only the best for them. But I know that most days, they sadly, don't get the best of me. But that is going to change, it will be a slow process, but I'm praying for God to help me give the strength to give more to them (though I feel like I've already given all I have).
Thank you to the many, many people who constantly are praying for me. I am so very blessed. Thank you Lord for how you guide me EVER step of the way!
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Life as an ADULT
High School...GRADUATED. College....GRADUATE. JOB....A REAL ONE!
There are times that growing up is OVERRATED!
Now, although I love my job, (and hate it too...actually I hate the secretarial part) some days I just wish I could not be so grown up!
.....bills, car taxes, insurance, bills, property tax on the car, bills........(and I still live with my parents!)
I walk through the doors of a school on Monday morning and I'm just as much an adult as any other person in there. I have 20 kids whose world revolves around me 6+ hours a day, who I know in and out and have to be able to give answers for and be accountable for at any moment. I am a teacher, a nurse, a parent (at times), a counselor, a life coach (and I simply wish I could be a Bible teacher to them too). Sometimes I wish I were a kid again (sometimes I feel like a little girl in a grown up world).
There are friends I have that are still in college or have graduated but haven't gotten a fulltime job yet...and sometimes I envy them. They can pick up and go whenever they want...they don't have to worry about 20 kids, 20 kids' parents, other teachers, the principal, assistant principal, the district, state board, national education, or anything like that, depending on them.
Sometimes I wish I were still in college, although there are some things I DON'T miss. I'm glad I don't have to study for the test, I just give the test. But I'm okay with where I am at in life. Sometimes I feel like I am missing out on some friends' lives and I wish I could see them more and spend time with them. Times like these when I've just come back from seeing them is when it hurts the most but I'm also enjoying being with the friends I've been away from for the past 3 years. I just want the days back but, like I said, at the same time I'm ok with where I'm at in life. This was what I was meant to do...just wish I lived closer to the ones that lived so far away (and that I had a secretary--any takers?).
...........the summer will be here soon and 2 weeks for Christmas (now this is also when I wish I were still in college...longer vacations...but hey, atleast I get some!)
There are times that growing up is OVERRATED!
Now, although I love my job, (and hate it too...actually I hate the secretarial part) some days I just wish I could not be so grown up!
.....bills, car taxes, insurance, bills, property tax on the car, bills........(and I still live with my parents!)
I walk through the doors of a school on Monday morning and I'm just as much an adult as any other person in there. I have 20 kids whose world revolves around me 6+ hours a day, who I know in and out and have to be able to give answers for and be accountable for at any moment. I am a teacher, a nurse, a parent (at times), a counselor, a life coach (and I simply wish I could be a Bible teacher to them too). Sometimes I wish I were a kid again (sometimes I feel like a little girl in a grown up world).
There are friends I have that are still in college or have graduated but haven't gotten a fulltime job yet...and sometimes I envy them. They can pick up and go whenever they want...they don't have to worry about 20 kids, 20 kids' parents, other teachers, the principal, assistant principal, the district, state board, national education, or anything like that, depending on them.
Sometimes I wish I were still in college, although there are some things I DON'T miss. I'm glad I don't have to study for the test, I just give the test. But I'm okay with where I am at in life. Sometimes I feel like I am missing out on some friends' lives and I wish I could see them more and spend time with them. Times like these when I've just come back from seeing them is when it hurts the most but I'm also enjoying being with the friends I've been away from for the past 3 years. I just want the days back but, like I said, at the same time I'm ok with where I'm at in life. This was what I was meant to do...just wish I lived closer to the ones that lived so far away (and that I had a secretary--any takers?).
...........the summer will be here soon and 2 weeks for Christmas (now this is also when I wish I were still in college...longer vacations...but hey, atleast I get some!)
Funny Memories
You have to have a GREAT sense of humor for this job!
Just some funny stuff that has happened:
-Most Fridays, we have "Author's Chair." Students read aloud some piece they have spent the week writing. (Mine you that my kids CANNOT write) They stand up to read and not too long into it they look over at me and ask "What does that say?" or "Does that say ____?" I just think its HILARIOUS...they can't read their own writing! I just shrug my shoulders and say "You wrote it." (meanwhile laughing inside) If only they knew what I went threw when grading their papers.
One little girl in my class got a new hairdo the other week. (Note: We are currently reading Charlotte's Web, which is probably why this entered my head.) I looked at her during a lesson and she reminded me of something but I just couldn't think what of.....finally it came to me: The ram in Charlotte's Web that has horns that curl back behind his head....THAT RAM is what this girl looked like with her new hairdo!!!! CRACKS ME UP EACH TIME I LOOK AT HER!!
One little boy in my class comes to school every few days with some type of bandage on him. Usually he says this injury is from football...and every injury is something he has broken! Of course, he has NOT broken ANYTHING and doesn't even had a scratch on him. His wrist has been wrapped in cloth, he's had bandages on his arm, he has claimed he broke his ankle....
This past Friday he came to school with 2 small bandaids UNDER EACH EYE! I thought: OH MY WORD! I've finally got to the point I just laugh at him (not where he can see, of course)...of course these bandaids were also from football....I made him take them off bc there were no scratches or anything under his eye.
The following are samples of children's writings:
I received this note from a boy on Friday: Vilints are red, vilints are blue, I love you to.
They had to write about a good friend: Jacob is my friend because "he envitid me to his perde."
These kids are the nosiest people in the world....they know what everyone else is doing and is suppose to be doing except for one person....THEMSELVES!
The 12 dollars I have spent on this classroom were 4 chalkboard adhesive squares. I put them on the side of the cubbies and the kids go there to write tattletale problems...I LOVE IT!! They can't spell so its hilarious to figure out what they wrote....i don't have to listen to them....they write so much during the day that the erase each other's stuff....when they complain about someone writing something about them or erasing what they wrote, I just say "Go write it on the board!" HAHAHAHA!!!
Just some funny stuff that has happened:
-Most Fridays, we have "Author's Chair." Students read aloud some piece they have spent the week writing. (Mine you that my kids CANNOT write) They stand up to read and not too long into it they look over at me and ask "What does that say?" or "Does that say ____?" I just think its HILARIOUS...they can't read their own writing! I just shrug my shoulders and say "You wrote it." (meanwhile laughing inside) If only they knew what I went threw when grading their papers.
One little girl in my class got a new hairdo the other week. (Note: We are currently reading Charlotte's Web, which is probably why this entered my head.) I looked at her during a lesson and she reminded me of something but I just couldn't think what of.....finally it came to me: The ram in Charlotte's Web that has horns that curl back behind his head....THAT RAM is what this girl looked like with her new hairdo!!!! CRACKS ME UP EACH TIME I LOOK AT HER!!
One little boy in my class comes to school every few days with some type of bandage on him. Usually he says this injury is from football...and every injury is something he has broken! Of course, he has NOT broken ANYTHING and doesn't even had a scratch on him. His wrist has been wrapped in cloth, he's had bandages on his arm, he has claimed he broke his ankle....
This past Friday he came to school with 2 small bandaids UNDER EACH EYE! I thought: OH MY WORD! I've finally got to the point I just laugh at him (not where he can see, of course)...of course these bandaids were also from football....I made him take them off bc there were no scratches or anything under his eye.
The following are samples of children's writings:
I received this note from a boy on Friday: Vilints are red, vilints are blue, I love you to.
They had to write about a good friend: Jacob is my friend because "he envitid me to his perde."
These kids are the nosiest people in the world....they know what everyone else is doing and is suppose to be doing except for one person....THEMSELVES!
The 12 dollars I have spent on this classroom were 4 chalkboard adhesive squares. I put them on the side of the cubbies and the kids go there to write tattletale problems...I LOVE IT!! They can't spell so its hilarious to figure out what they wrote....i don't have to listen to them....they write so much during the day that the erase each other's stuff....when they complain about someone writing something about them or erasing what they wrote, I just say "Go write it on the board!" HAHAHAHA!!!
The First Nine Weeks
The hardest and most difficult thing about being a first year teacher is that, NO MATTER WHAT, once you walk through the doors of that classroom, you are expected to perform as if you have been teaching for 25 years.
I'm not writing this to inform the world about my life...no one may even read this. Its just a way for me to get out all of my frustration and excitement in teaching. There may be times when some aspect of my life relates to teaching but that will be the only part of my personal life shared on this.
Its hard to sum up the first nine weeks. I walked in to a school I didn't know too much about. I student taught 4th grade (LOVED IT!) and have always wanted to teach 3rd or 4th.....2nd has certainly brought its challenges. To sum up the first nine weeks: I have had all the first year teacher tears, I have spent countless hours doing school work to the point that my body could no longer go on functioning; one day (after crying in the arms of another 2nd grade teacher and the school secretary) I just left it all at school and went home and went to bed at like 4 in the afternoon. My hands shake from the exhaustion on some days. There are no words to describe how tired I have been in the last 10 weeks. There are so many things people at the school just don't bother to tell you and I guess they just expect you to figure it out. People expect a teacher to be absolutely perfect, no joke. Very rarely do they consider the fact that the teacher is REAL person - not a robot or some emotionless, unfeeling being. They will tear you apart for one little mistake but they never mention all the things you execute flawlessly.
Overall, I have a very sweet class, with the exception of one child, which has required ALL of me and then some. Yet, I feel as though we are making NO progress no matter what I try. I know I need to spend more time in prayer for this child. Never in my life have I seen one like him. I knew teaching would not be easy. I knew it would bring its challenges - and it has. There are 2 big dreams I've had in my life. The second one is teaching - I have worked my entire life to get to this point - yet most days it does not feel like I have finally achieved it haha.
I have kids who can't read numbers, don't understand how to count by one; there just LOW in general..aahhh!!!! :)
Monday will mark the end of the first nine weeks...and there is alot left to be done the rest of the year.
Even though its insane and there have certainly been days I've just wanted to quit...I wouldn't trade it for the world...there's nothing else I would do! Yes, you have to be a lunatic to enter and remain in this profession. You also have to be someone who loves alot and who will give more even when you've given all there is.
I'm not writing this to inform the world about my life...no one may even read this. Its just a way for me to get out all of my frustration and excitement in teaching. There may be times when some aspect of my life relates to teaching but that will be the only part of my personal life shared on this.
Its hard to sum up the first nine weeks. I walked in to a school I didn't know too much about. I student taught 4th grade (LOVED IT!) and have always wanted to teach 3rd or 4th.....2nd has certainly brought its challenges. To sum up the first nine weeks: I have had all the first year teacher tears, I have spent countless hours doing school work to the point that my body could no longer go on functioning; one day (after crying in the arms of another 2nd grade teacher and the school secretary) I just left it all at school and went home and went to bed at like 4 in the afternoon. My hands shake from the exhaustion on some days. There are no words to describe how tired I have been in the last 10 weeks. There are so many things people at the school just don't bother to tell you and I guess they just expect you to figure it out. People expect a teacher to be absolutely perfect, no joke. Very rarely do they consider the fact that the teacher is REAL person - not a robot or some emotionless, unfeeling being. They will tear you apart for one little mistake but they never mention all the things you execute flawlessly.
Overall, I have a very sweet class, with the exception of one child, which has required ALL of me and then some. Yet, I feel as though we are making NO progress no matter what I try. I know I need to spend more time in prayer for this child. Never in my life have I seen one like him. I knew teaching would not be easy. I knew it would bring its challenges - and it has. There are 2 big dreams I've had in my life. The second one is teaching - I have worked my entire life to get to this point - yet most days it does not feel like I have finally achieved it haha.
I have kids who can't read numbers, don't understand how to count by one; there just LOW in general..aahhh!!!! :)
Monday will mark the end of the first nine weeks...and there is alot left to be done the rest of the year.
Even though its insane and there have certainly been days I've just wanted to quit...I wouldn't trade it for the world...there's nothing else I would do! Yes, you have to be a lunatic to enter and remain in this profession. You also have to be someone who loves alot and who will give more even when you've given all there is.
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